"Because men know they're stronger, you can't do anything to them if they do something bad to you": This is how gender norms affect girls.

“[I feel unsafe] drawing water from the well at night. […] Because bad men might rape me.” Jane, 12, Uganda.

“If I don't listen to my parents' advice, I'll run many risks, like being kidnapped, sexually abused, or murdered.” Thom, 12, Vietnam.

“We shouldn't have to walk in fear or be careful; [but] it's others who should respect us.” Gladys, 17, El Salvador.

What is it like to grow up as a girl in El Salvador, Vietnam, or Uganda? How do they perceive the world around them? What strategies do they find to resist and confront violence and gender stereotypes? How has their perspective evolved over the years? These are some of the questions and reflections raised by a new report by Plan International published this Monday: We Shouldn't Have to Walk in Fear: How Gender Norms Shape Girls' Perceptions of Protection, Risk, and Responsibility. In it, It analyzes how 142 young people from nine countries (Benin, Brazil, Cambodia, the Dominican Republic, El Salvador, the Philippines, Togo, Uganda, and Vietnam) understand the violence they experience and how they try to challenge it.

The threat of violence and the feeling of insecurity and vulnerability are recurring themes in the lives of these girls. Ninety-one percent, or nine out of ten, have experienced some form of violence since the age of 11. The most common places where they experienced it were at school (42%), at home (31%), or in their community (28%). They were also asked where they felt unsafe, and of the 19% of girls who indicated home, the majority mentioned gender-based violence. This was the case for two girls from El Salvador : Raquel, whose cousin assaulted and threatened to kill her aunt, and Karen, one of the few study participants who highlighted the impact of psychological violence on her. This Salvadoran girl explained that her father scolded and mocked her when he was drunk, something that made her feel insecure, especially when they were alone together. “The fact that this is an isolated case [within the study] tells us that, due to a lack of awareness about these types of violence , the girls themselves, the victims and survivors, may not recognize the experiences they are going through as gender-based violence ,” said Kit Catterson, leader of the research, in a video interview with this newspaper.

“And if you don't recognize it, how are you going to be in a position to question it or seek help? I think this story shows the need to raise more awareness so that society has a better understanding of how gender-based violence can manifest itself,” she explains. “People are less likely to seek help if they think, 'Well, at least he never hit me,'” she adds.

The report is the latest edition of Real Choices, Real Lives , an ambitious investigation that Plan International launched in 2006. The NGO decided to continue The lives of 142 girls in nine countries over 18 years: from birth until reaching the age of majority in 2024. “Each year, interviewers visited the families. They were always local to the specific areas, so they spoke the language and were familiar with the local culture and customs,” Catterson explains. Throughout this time, the experts asked the girls and their caregivers (since 2006, those aged seven and over) about various issues, from climate change, their sexual rights, to gender-based violence. Some questions were repeated over the years to monitor the evolution of their opinions.

Specifically, Monday's report focuses on these girls' adolescence, a key period in which gender norms take hold. "The value of the study lies in its focus on bringing girls' experiences, opinions, and recommendations to the forefront. It's a powerful complement to those large-scale quantitative studies that provide statistics but don't tell us how girls feel about them," Catterson explains.

Male violence as something natural

In 2021 (when they were 14-15 years old), 68% of girls perceived male violence as natural . In 2024, at 17-18 years old, 62% still held this belief. At 15, Melanie from the Philippines explained that men are violent “because they are men.” And Fezire from Togo stated at 18 that “because [men] know they are stronger, you can’t do anything to them if they do something bad to you.” “Girls said that God had created boys and men this way. This gave them a sense of inevitability, something that cannot be changed or questioned,” Catterson says.

For the researcher, this directly influences how girls behave, where they go, in which places they feel safe or in which they think that, if something happens to them, They will be judged for having been there. It also undermines their sense of equality with the boys. “Some said that boys deserve more freedom, that they have the right to go out, play, or access certain spaces in the community, and that they shouldn't have that same freedom because the protection risk was too high compared to boys,” she explains.

In 2024, at the age of 18, 89% of the study participants strongly believed that mothers and fathers can teach children not to be violent or aggressive.

Catterson adds that this affects how they see their place in the world and undermines their confidence in their ability to make their own decisions: “If you think that if something happens to you, you're going to be blamed, it's very difficult to stick to your decisions because it involves taking a huge risk. Many of them said, 'It's safer if my parents choose for me. If I do it and my dad doesn't know, then he'll completely disengage and won't take responsibility for supporting me.'”

In early adolescence, 57% of girls said it was their responsibility to protect themselves from violence and abuse. This sentiment grew stronger over time, reaching 67% at ages 17 and 18. “This shows how these social norms that dictate expectations for girls become entrenched and solidified over time. And once they become entrenched, it becomes very difficult to break that cycle or influence those perceptions,” she explains.

The consequences of girls taking on this responsibility for protection are multiple, the study explains, from having opinions about what other girls should or shouldn't do to policing their own behavior. Catterson mentions Jasmine, a Filipino girl whose mother was deeply concerned that she would suffer violence, especially sexual violence, which led her to impose restrictions on where she could go from a very young age. “At first, Jasmine resisted, but over time, she stopped participating in activities and leaving the house. It wasn't just the fear of violence, but she had been instilled with the idea that if anything happened to her, it would be her fault.”

Gender-based violence is a growing crisis. That's why we need to make this investment now, because millions more girls are at risk every day.

Kit Catterson, Plan International research leader

The study also brings hope. “Despite this worrying minority whose freedoms, sense of equality, and self-confidence have been profoundly undermined, most girls resist this as they grow up. They demand that adults listen to them, are certain that their voice matters, and have a strong belief that they deserve the same rights as boys,” Catterson emphasizes. In 2024, at the age of 18, 89% of participants firmly believed that parents can teach children not to be violent or aggressive. “It is the duty of parents to educate their children and guide them on the right path,” said Catherine, 17, from Benin.

Furthermore, while in 2021, 33% of girls believed boys should have more freedom than they did, this proportion dropped to 18% in 2024. However, the research mentions that many girls recognized that, despite dreaming of living in a fairer world, gender equality is not yet a reality.

Putting girls' voices at the center

It is estimated that by the end of 2025, there will be a $406 million (€348 million) decrease in international and humanitarian aid funding aimed at eradicating violence against children. “These catastrophic cuts mean that nearly half of women's organizations could close in the next year, and 51% have already been forced to suspend programs, putting essential protection programs for girls and women at risk,” the report warns.

"We're calling on countries that have made cuts to reinvest in their cooperation programs," Catterson emphasizes. For the researcher, it's crucial that governments, civil society, institutional donors, and foundations work together to invest in protection services that keep girls, women, and survivors of violence safe , both on a daily basis and in crisis contexts, particularly during humanitarian emergencies .

Furthermore, she calls on policymakers to put “girls' voices at the center of all decisions that affect their safety.” “Social and gender norms are deeply harmful, but they can be challenged and unlearned. It's about investing in that effort.” She concludes: “Gender-based violence is a growing crisis. We need to make that investment now, because millions more girls are at risk every day.”